5 pieces of wisdom from my mid-life crisis

My fortieth birthday hit hard. I wasn’t a young thing anymore. I hadn’t achieved the accomplishments in art and writing that I had planned for myself when I was an undergrad. To top it off, I was divorced, which broke my heart and decimated my self-confidence. My life was ripe for a midlife crisis: and my forties provided one!

For a decade, I rolled with a tsunami of existential predicament. I achieved the most important thing, though: I got my children raised into healthy adults. This was Job One, and there were many people who helped make this happen. But the bulk of the responsibility for my sons’ well-being was on my shoulders, and I am relieved and grateful that I was able to get them graduated and on to better things.

As for my personal goals, they didn’t happen. The best-selling book and ambitious art exhibit that I had always wanted to achieve didn’t materialize. In fact, I was far less creative in my 40’s than I had been at any other time in my life. In my forties, I learned how to be a good worker bee. The vision I once had for myself was sidelined for the necessities of adulthood, and I don’t regret this. Shit needed to get done, and I did it.

Now, I am sitting on the precipice of a new time in my life. In a few weeks, I turn 50. I’m ready to move on with years that include colonoscopies, AARP, grandchildren (I hope), at least one cruise, and many, many sweet times with old friends and new ones. This is good enough for me.

I guess I finally got over myself…. I have never been so happy.

I did learn a few things during the mid-life crisis years. Here are the top 5 wisdoms earned:

1.     Having a relationship with Divine Spirit, and the Divine Spark within us, is more imperative than any worldly accomplishment.

2.     Charm is not important, but authenticity is.

3.     Make art because it feels good. Share it because this completes the circle of creation.

4.     If you are genuinely kind, self-sacrificing, and fun, there will be people who grieve for you when you’re dead.

5.     Maybe the most serviceable lesson I can share with you: Scrabble is a math game. I thought it was a word game, but once I figured out it’s a math game, I started to win.

Perhaps my mid-life crisis should have been more fruitful with wisdom, but this is all I’ve got. Be kind. Be cool. Make stuff. And love other people with abandon. No more regrets.